On September 12, the second annual “Run for the Ranch” was held in Winchester to raise money for the Solid Rock Children’s Ranch. The 5K run/walk began and ended at Mt. Zion Christian Church, with 106 runners and walkers participating. Among those participants were four ladies calling themselves “Tina’s Tribe.” They walked in memory of their dear friend, Tina. This is their story:
“Our friendship began in 1996. We were all living in Columbus, Ohio with small children and similar life circumstances. We met at church and became fast friends. Laughing, crying, hours of talking and sharing, good times, and bad times. We bonded as sisters through the years. We started girls’ trips with weekend shopping when our children were small, life was busy, and there were gifts to buy. As time progressed and our children got older, we traded those shopping trips for destination trips where we continued our sisterly bond. We loved encouraging one another, laughing, crying, and eating together. We always felt renewed after these trips, and eagerly awaited and planned for the next one.
“Sadly, on February 11, 2020, we got the shocking call that our sister Tina had very unexpectedly, and instantly, passed away. The feeling of devastation is an understatement. We sisters could not imagine this terrible loss.
“During our mourning it was quickly decided that we needed a way to honor her memory. Tina had a love of races, and these were an important part of her life. She also had a deep love of children, whom she served for many years in our church. We decided that we would find a way that would incorporate both of those.
“One of us now lives in Kentucky and found a race that fit the bill. The first annual 5K for #Tinastribe began on Saturday, September 12 with four of us able to physically participate in Sunrise’s “Run for the Ranch” in Winchester, while Tina’s daughter ran in spirit with us from Reynoldsburg, Ohio. We will continue to participate in 5K’s as #Tinastribe until none of us are able to make the walk.”
Sunrise’s Woodlawn Center in Danville is our only Psychiatric Residential Treatment Facility (PRTF) in our continuum of specialized care. Therapy and treatment are provided to up to 27 boys, ages six to 18, in three cottages on campus. Many unique and wonderful things occur here every day. Braeden* is just one example.
What brought Braeden to Woodlawn Center PRTF was an incident with his father’s parents. “I overreacted and did some property damage,” said Braeden. “Then I was sent to a psychiatric facility, and then I was sent here.”
When Braeden first walked through the doors of Woodlawn Center, he entered feeling awkward and lacking confidence. “When I first came in, I was an introvert, like, really an introvert. I really didn’t like people. I had no trust with anyone. And I didn’t have confidence in myself,” said Braeden. “But now, I’m able to trust people, and I build relationships with people. And I’m confident that I can do the right thing.”
Braeden remained at Woodlawn Center almost eight months before finishing the program in August, 2020. Just days before leaving Woodlawn, Braeden wanted to express his appreciation to one special person. “I want to thank Ms. Rebecca, my therapist, because she’s always been here for me,” Braeden said. “She cares about me. And she only wants the best for me. And she’s been pushing me to do the right thing since the beginning.”
On that same day, Braeden was eager to share his feelings about completing the Sunrise program at Woodlawn: “I’m ready now, because I know I can do the right thing. I’ve learned the skills to do the right thing. I want to do the right thing. I want to go to college and make money and have a good life.”
His specific plan is to attend Sullivan University in Louisville and study culinary arts. In fact, he shared his culinary skills with Sunrise team members before leaving. “I cooked today, actually,” stated Braeden. “I made enchiladas for all of the staff; so, it’s like a going-away present.”
But the story doesn’t end here. Along came Steven. Steven is a single parent, currently fostering, and just happens to have worked at Sunrise’s Woodlawn Center about five years ago. Sunrise Treatment Director Rebecca Goines (who is also Braeden’s therapist) shared: “When I found out from Braeden’s social worker that he was going into foster placement, I knew that Steven was a foster parent, and he was fostering teenage boys; and he just told me that he was opening another room in his house. And so, it all kind of just fit together. I felt like Steven knew this level of care, and knew these types of kids, and this would probably work! And of course, he said yes!”
Steven had an instant rapport with Braeden. “Braeden reminds me a lot of myself at a younger age, so, we had a pretty good connection,” said Steven. “I just pray that he takes one day at a time, becomes the man he wants to be, and focuses on the goals he has. He seems to be straight on with what he wants to do; so, I’m just hoping that he can keep that going.”
“Braeden reminds me a lot of myself at a younger age, so, we had a pretty good connection,”
Steven is also confident in the quality of care already provided to Braeden by Woodlawn Center. “They have excellent staff that have worked with the kids a long time and love working with the kids and interacting,” said Steven. “A lot of kids come in here, and they’re not happy with who they are. Braeden said he came in like that, and he’s doing much better, and it looks like he’s ready. And I think that’s what (Woodlawn) provides. It prepares them for the world.”
It looks like Woodlawn has indeed prepared Braeden for the world. And for both Steven and Braeden, it is quite evident that Sunrise’s Woodlawn Center has fully prepared them for each other.
*Name has been changed to protect the identity of the individual.
Judy Singleton sits outside her property in Winchester.
The Beginning
Judy Singleton from Winchester has a dream. Her dream is to provide a new community of care for sibling groups in foster care on her property. The dream began when Judy was a child.
“Mom and Dad came here in 1940. They bought the farm during the war. I grew up on this farm, and my heart is here,” Judy shared.
“When I was a child, one of the things that Mom and Dad and I did on Sunday afternoons was to drive up Kentucky Route 15 toward Natural Bridge,” said Judy. “I was maybe eight or nine, and I remember Dad looking over and pointing at a house and saying, ‘It’s a shame that old man didn’t get to do with his land what he wanted to do.’” Judy’s dad told her that the man wanted to build an orphan’s home on his property, but it never materialized. “It laid on Dad’s heart,” said Judy.
Judy would eventually leave the farm to pursue teaching, but those words from her dad would have profound impact on her. “I feel like, even back then, God was placing in my heart the need for something like that,” she said. That may have been the first time God began talking to her about the Solid Rock dream, but it would not be the last.
The Fire
Judy was living in Richmond in 1980 when one day that year, her mom and dad were looking at the hay in their barn. The barn was completely full with hay bales. “Everything was fine. It looked good,” said Judy. Her parents left the barn and went into the house. Thirty minutes later, they came back outside. The barn was blazing.
“The flame and the blazes went so high that people all around could see the smoke and the fire,” Judy said. “People came from all around putting water on the garage and on the side of the house that faced the barn.” Paint had already begun to peel on both the house and the garage. At that moment, according to what Judy’s parents had told her, everyone there knew that they were not going to be successful in saving the house. It would take a miracle. And then a miracle happened.
“In an instant, the wind changed,” said Judy. “The wind blew the other way. It took the flames, it took the smoke, it took everything in the opposite direction.” Judy knew of only one reason for the dramatic turn of events. “I think that God knew that the house had to remain here for me to come back,” she said. “So, I know that in 1980 God saved the house and saved Mom and Dad.” A few years later, God would speak to her again.
The Gas Line
One cold winter night, after the fire, the temperature had dropped to thirty-two degrees below zero. Judy was still not living at the house, but again, her parents told her exactly what had happened. Her dad was awake in the middle of the night. This was unusual. “I could make all kinds of noise. Mom didn’t sleep well, but Dad didn’t wake up,” said Judy. “But this time, Mom was sleeping, and Dad was awake.”
And then it happened. A pop. Judy’s dad heard the noise and, in an instant, went down to the basement and discovered that the gas line had frozen and broken. He immediately turned the gas off in the house. “Had Dad not been awake when that happened, the house would have exploded, and Mom and Dad would have died. So, I feel like God woke Dad up to hear it and check it out,” said Judy. “There’s two times that this house should have gone. And it didn’t. So, it’s here for a reason. I know it is. I feel like God has been leading me in this direction a long time. It’s the last thing, I think, He has planned for me.”
The Vision
Judy remembers having a talk with her dad shortly before he died. Having no brothers and sisters, Judy knew that she would be acquiring the farm. Her dad wanted to talk to her about it and said, “I want you to do something for children or animals, and maybe children and animals.” Judy’s response was quick: “Yeah, Dad, I would like to do that too.”
Judy always loved kids and loved working with kids. She taught children for 35 years and continued teaching part time after she retired. “Seeing kids at school and seeing sibling groups separated, and seeing how hard it was on them – that is when God began to place on my heart that I could be more than just their teacher.,” Judy explained. “So, from there, God started placing into my mind and heart the idea for starting Solid Rock Children’s Ranch.”
The Future
In February, 2016, Judy met with Sunrise to discuss her idea of Solid Rock Children’s Ranch. “I found out I needed to really give all of the farm for it to be enough for Sunrise financially to take the risk,” Judy said. “That was the hardest part, but then I went on and did that.”
Although Judy does not know when the Solid Rock Children’s Ranch will be realized, she does have a clear idea of what she wants it to be and what she wants it to look like. “It’s going to be like a regular home. A set of foster parents are going to have kids there,” explained Judy. “We’re going to focus on sibling groups.” She also wants the kids living there to experience the country. “It’s just a lot of land to do things on,” she said. I envision down the road that this could be a place where we could bring other foster kids to have some fun.”
Above all, Judy wants Solid Rock to make a difference in kids’ lives. She knows of only one way this can happen. “You can put the kids in homes and try to help them, even with drug rehabs,” stated Judy. “But it takes God to be the permanent change.”
And about that property along Kentucky Route 15 . . .
According to Dr. Todd Rader, pastor of Ephesus Baptist Church in Winchester, the property that Judy’s dad would point to each time he would drive on Kentucky 15 was owned by John Nelson Bush. John Bush was a bachelor, had no children, and was a life-long member of Ephesus Baptist Church. In 1931, he wrote in his will that his property of more than 600 acres in Winchester would be donated, upon his death, to the Boones Creek Baptist Association and the Friendship Association for the purpose of constructing an orphanage.
Dr. Todd Rader (left) shares with Sunrise Associate Director of Communications David Lyninger.
In May of 1936, there was a groundbreaking ceremony on the property. The next month, the cornerstone was laid. But less than two weeks after the cornerstone was laid, John Bush died.
By the end of 1936, his will was contested by his sister and nephew. In 1938, children were moved into John Bush’s former home, and the orphanage was begun. But just a year later, the sister was awarded all of her brother’s property, and the orphanage soon closed.
“Having the story of Judy and her father passing the property, and seeing the impact of Mr. Bush’s dream still inspire and birth this dream in Judy – even though his dream did not happen in his lifetime where he wanted to – is just a reminder to me that God’s will is always accomplished,” shared Pastor Todd. “It may not be in the time or the way that we would prefer, but God’s will is always accomplished.”
The entire Sunrise Somerset foster care team recently went on a “Foster Parent Appreciation Parade” to see their clients and show some Sunrise love to our families. While only able to physically be present with families during crisis or placement, the Sunrise team has truly missed spending time with the kids to laugh, hug, and just be together. The staff decided to take things “on the road” driving almost 200 miles throughout their region to share with their families how much they are loved. With horns blaring (sorry neighbors), signs waving, and staff hanging out of windows at times, Sunrise came in full force to announce YOU ARE LOVED!
“Families really loved the parade, and the kids were so excited to see us . . . even the teenagers,” said one Sunrise Somerset foster care team member.
Staff were sent messages from kids and families like, “That was pretty cool!” “They are crazy!” “It was nice.” One foster parent shared, “Thanks for loving our kids like you do, and for all the support you give us. We have been where we didn’t get any support before, and can’t imagine (still being in that situation) during this time.”
The day was made when one kiddo that is struggling shared, “That was nice; maybe they do care.”
Sunrise Vice President of Community Based Services Kenny Williams expressed, “We have a great team, and I am so thankful for all of them!”
The Conkright family adopted one of our Sunrise youth on June 3. Since the start of the foster-to-adopt program in 2006, Sunrise has celebrated more than 530 adoptions!
Are you interested in our Foster-to-Adopt program? Did you know that adoption eligible children, who are waiting in the foster care system can range anywhere from infants to young adults? Many of the children waiting to be adopted have siblings in the system who are also eligible for adoption. We strive to keep sibling groups together at all cost. The majority of foster care children are perfectly healthy children who need love, guidance, and a stable environment from a nurturing adult.
“It (COVID-19) has added the responsibility of keeping the kids aware of what is going on with the pandemic and processing their thoughts, questions, and fears.” – Sunrise Direct Care Counselor II Steve Dillard from Crossroads Treatment Center in Elizabethtown
“COVID-19 has certainly changed everything as we know it. It has impacted my job by introducing telehealth services in place of face-to-face sessions. This change has prompted me to engage in more creative interactions within sessions.” – Sunrise Owensboro and Bowling Green Foster Care Therapist Sheri Hunt
“Since mid to late March, our facility has been on full lockdown. Our families are not allowed to come in to see us, and we are not allowed to go see them; even churches that would come on weekends and give us a message or just play basketball with kids, are excluded. This time has given us all an opportunity to bond and create relationships with each other we didn’t know were possible.” – Ru Jones, former Sunrise Spring Meadows Center client, written May 2020
“Hello Guys- I just wanted to take a moment and say that I know the media is singing about the healthcare workers and other essential employees. I also sing their praise and feel VERY thankful for all the essential employees out working. However, there is a different story that will most likely not be nationally told. That story is of the residential mental health care worker. A mental health worker already endures a numerous amount of physical and emotional stress that comes with working with people in crisis. Words and stories rarely do justice to describe the strength it takes to work in this field. Now, add that our future is blurry, our home life has been shaken, and our clients are scared, and we must muster even more strength and courage to deal with the amplified mental health issues. We do this while dealing with a crisis of keeping our clients safe and while attempting to keep our own families safe. We are constantly shifting our roles from counselor, co-worker, mother, father, partner, friend, teacher, and Toilet Paper Hunter. We do this while we are also going through a very human experience of experiencing fear of uncertainty. I am proud to be a part of a team of amazing people that do this all while making it look easy. I just wanted to say that I know there is strength happening that will never get the attention it deserves, and I am proud to work with you.” – Sunrise Crossroads Treatment Center Program Director Jalena Robertson, written to encourage fellow Sunrise program directors
“They (Sunrise team members) have been warriors throughout this crisis. Many have families of their own that they leave in quarantine to take care of Kentucky’s orphans.” – Sunrise President Dale Suttles
The “new normal” has encouraged the girls who live at Sunrise’s Glen Dale Center in Elizabethtown to spend their time growing gardens.
TPR – “Termination of Parental Rights” – the final step before an adoption can move forward. On the surface, it might seem like just one more hurdle to go through in order to obtain permanency.In some cases that might really be true, but if you dig a little deeper, it can be a very emotional and difficult step for many different parties involved.
The roller coaster that is foster care doesn’t end at a TPR hearing; in fact, many people find this hearing to be more emotional and difficult to experience than they expected. The reality that is TPR means that the connection to a biological family is forever and legally severed. There is no going back. This means that the seemingly infinite hours of help offered by a county caseworker, attempts to reunify or find other biological family members, and all the hopes that “this time rehab might work,” have failed. And as a result, it is deemed by the courts that the best interest of the child/children is permanently removing them from their biological connection and being adopted by another family.
Understand that TPR does not necessarily mean that the biological family doesn’t love their child. Many times, what makes TPR so emotional is the fact that the biological mother or father are still that, moms and dads, but are caught in horrific cycles with abuse or addiction or in severe mental health crises. The reality that a parent is not fit to raise their own child is heartbreaking, and the TPR hearing should be treated as such. Parents are not caught off guard that this is coming, and sometimes they make the difficult decision to sign over their rights voluntarily, but no matter how it happens, TPR is a huge loss for a family.
With that said, it is important to look at TPR from another angle: through the eyes of a child. Sometimes children caught in the middle of this TPR decision have no clue about the magnitude of such a hearing simply because they are too young and really know nothing different than life with their foster family. But all too many times, the children are the innocent victims, and a TPR hearing can really be heartbreaking and life changing. Adoption might be a dream for this child, and the actual day of adoption may be much more positive and exciting, but to get there, the child has to experience TPR. These children are sometimes even a part of the hearing, giving a testimonial or simply just being present. Emotional outbursts, changes in behaviors at home, panic attacks, or the onset of depression may develop afterwards. Sometimes, no matter how much they want to be adopted or how happy they are in their current placement, TPR can really catch them off guard and leave them unprepared with big feelings that they are having to work through. These innocent children are asked to be brave and resilient and possibly even grateful to be able to start a new chapter; those can be overwhelming requests, and many struggle with that reality.
As a foster parent, the “outsider” to this case and the one who has been supporting reunification all along, TPR is extremely emotional and downright sad, as well. A TPR hearing often severs the connections foster parents have to the child’s biological aunts and uncles and grandparents – people you yourself may have become invested in knowing. Meanwhile, you are also left to pick up the pieces, yet again, and help your child move forward confidently, despite their having experienced something many grown adults never will.
So before you can start planning “adoption day” or ordering your matching T-shirts to wear as an official family, you will need to experience the intense grief at the loss of a ”first family” during the TPR hearing.
Below are my top five tips to try and help you parent through this difficult time:
Acknowledge the intense emotions that come with TPR for everyone involved. Know that each party is grieving and grief presents itself in many different ways.
Be a safe person for a child experiencing TPR to express their emotions without giving up on them or punishing them for possible extreme behaviors.
If said big emotions or behaviors from a child are too much for you to handle, reach out for more professional help. Consider possibly anticipating the child having a difficult time, and arrange for professional help prior to TPR in order to work on coping strategies early.
Plan ahead and seek advice on how to maintain contact with biological family members so that it is a healthy, positive relationship. Sometimes this is not possible, but perhaps you will have the opportunity to gather stories or photos or family history before TPR happens. Something is better than nothing.
Be flexible and compassionate and know it is not about you right now. There is a lot more going on than just another step to adoption. Seek support for yourself, either from individuals who have already gone through this or from a professional.
One of the most consistent hallmarks of being a foster family is uncertainty. We never quite know how long a placement will be with us, or what is going to happen at the next court hearing. That uncertainty is in many ways the greatest source of stress for foster parents:we can’t see clearly what the future holds for our families, and that is a hard reality to accept.
COVID-19 has brought a similar level of uncertainty and unpredictability to nearly the whole world. None of us could have predicted the ways in which our lives would be radically changed – and no one can say for sure when things will return to “normal.” How long will the kids be home? When will jobs return to the way they were before? Will we be able to keep our family healthy? When will it be safe to venture outside again? When will a vaccine be available? If you’re like us, you have spent hours trying to guess the answers to these questions, and there certainly is no shortage of opinions on the news and social media. But the truth is, no one knows for sure, and every day we are working to find new ways to deal with that discomfort of the unknown.
For foster parents and children in foster care, COVID-19 places an additional haze over an already unclear set of circumstances. Things like family visitation, home visits, and court dates have been postponed or conducted virtually, and it remains to be seen how those alterations will impact the outcomes of cases in the court systems. It’s a fact that the most important factor in a judge’s decision on next steps in so many foster care cases is momentum: have the biological parents consistently been meeting objectives towards reunification – or consistently missing them? What patterns can be shown to support reunification or permanent placement? COVID-19 has made tracking momentum and consistency more challenging than ever.
In the midst of this crisis, case workers are still performing their jobs to keep children in our communities safe, while looking for ways to connect virtually and remotely to move cases forward where needed. We have been appreciative of the support of our local KidsPeace office; they have been creative and persistent in finding ways to provide as much continuity as possible. We’ve had Zoom calls with our case workers every week to see how we were doing and what additional needs we might have while sheltered at home. At the same time, they’ve suggested ways for virtual visits to be continued with our foster son and his biological mother. KidsPeace’s dedicated staff has shown resiliency and flexibility, adapting to new remote ways of work for themselves, while making foster families feel more supported during a time of need.
There is not much that can be known about what the future holds – for when and how the pandemic will end, and what the outcome of current foster care cases will be. Dealing with uncertainty comes with the territory for foster parents, and it helps to have supportive staff and caseworkers in our corner.
Every possible effort is made for the placement to be successful. It is important to clarify what a successful placement is: a successful placement would be for a child to come into your home and grow, develop, and mature (just as we hope for our own biological children). Plus, and this is key, the youth “stays with you” until such time as their Permanency Goal is complete (Permanency Goals include things such as: Return to Parent; Adoption; Emancipation; Relative Placement; to name a few). In short, our hope/goal/prayer is that the youth starts—and finishes—their time in foster care with the foster parent they begin with.
In regard to it not working out: If situation(s) arise that simply cannot be worked out (every attempt has been made by all), or safety is a real concern, the foster parents have agreed by contract to notify the agency of their intent for the child to be removed from their home. Upon notification to the agency, the child will remain in the foster home for two more weeks (unless a new placement is found before that time frame ends). The reason for the “two-week notice” is that the child must have a home to go to. It is not easy to find placement for children—especially on short notice. The two-week notice gives opportunity to find the best possible fit for the child, and to help increase opportunities for success.
The length of time it takes to complete the foster parent pre-service training is very dependent upon the attendance level of the foster parents themselves, and the work vs. training schedule developed. Missed trainings must be made up/completed = longer time till completion.
On average, 45-90 days is a fair expectancy for the complete training to be completed. That being said, a family that can meet often, gets their background check accomplished early (agency pays for it), and completes their paperwork in a timely manner, can be trained in about a month.
