At Sunrise we often celebrate success stories in our foster families, including adoptions. But we realize that many children have a goal of reunification with their birth families. And so do many parents.
For Arnisha Shegog, parent of four children, that goal was realized. On November 4, 2021, Shegog was reunited with all four of her children. This was actually after the second time her children were placed in the foster care system.
The first time her kids entered foster care occurred when one of her children was abused by a family member. At that time, Shegog was a single mother, just coming home from the hospital with her fourth child. “I needed to seek mental help because I was unable to help my kids and be a proactive mother,” said Shegog. “I didn’t have family to turn to . . . so I leaned a shoulder on foster care . . . . Foster care took my kids in and did the best that they could. So that was the first round.”
The second time occurred when she was married. Less than two weeks after her marriage ceremony, one of Shegog’s daughters shared with an adult at school that she felt unsafe at home. “I was the victim of domestic violence,” stated Shegog. “My kids had to go back to foster care.”
During this incredibly difficult time, Shegog turned to her faith. “I needed to really speak to my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ as my higher power,” she said. “And I was like, ‘God, help me get out of this situation. I’m stuck. I have my kids in foster care. I’m married. What do I need to do?’”
Shegog quickly realized that she too had to remove herself from an unsafe environment. “I had to seek divorce, and I had to seek ways of helping my kids get out of a situation of foster care,” she stated. She also sought help for herself: getting domestic violence counseling, dealing with past trauma, and taking care of her mental health.
In the middle of all this, she heard God’s voice clearer than ever. “God was like, ‘Dig deeper. I need you to come closer to me,’” she recalled. And when she did, she knew exactly what to do: start a non-profit organization to break the silence of women caught in domestic violence. “So, I started a non-profit, the Arnisha Shegog Mentorship Program, which cares for basically anyone that wants to have a voice (or who is needing help),” said Shegog. The program officially began on July 26, 2021.
While her children were in foster care the second time, Shegog focused on getting herself back to a better place mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. “I basically gave my kids back to Christ because I knew what I’ve done to put them in that unpredictable circumstance; now I needed to work on myself,” she said. “So, I gave my kids back to God. And I said, ‘God, I’ve done all the assessments that the court wanted me to do, I’m visiting them on time, I’m making sure I’m being a good correspondent to whatever they need.’ As much as I can do, I did; then it was time for me to work on myself. So, that’s what I’ve done. And November 4, that’s when I got my kids back.”
Shegog was joyful and appreciative to receive her children back in her home. She is also very appreciative of the care that her children received in the foster care system. Her oldest girl was fostered by a family at the girl’s elementary school, and her two boys were fostered by the owner of the daycare center they attended.
Her youngest daughter, who was living in multiple foster homes, was eventually placed in a Sunrise foster family. “Sunrise has my absolute approval!” exclaimed Shegog. “You can sleep at night with so much ease. Beautiful organization and beautiful people.”
Stacy and John Tyler White were the Sunrise foster parents who fostered Shegog’s youngest girl. Both are on staff at Hillcrest Baptist Church in Hopkinsville. John Tyler is the worship and missions pastor, and Stacy is the outreach and assimilation director. “John Tyler is exceptional. Stacy is beautiful inside and out. Their whole family is beautiful,” said Shegog. “They understand the inside and out of raising kids within foster care. Sunrise is a Christian-faith-based organization, so I felt good knowing that my daughter was loved under God.”
It has been quite a journey for Shegog, and she now finds herself and her family at a good place. “It may be chaotic when I go to Walmart with two buggies, because one’s for groceries and one’s for household items, but that’s my peace. At the end of the day, my kids are happy,” she stated. “I had to realize that I’d rather have those two Walmart buggies, being at peace and at joy with my kids at the end of the day, than being in a chaotic marriage.”
Through it all, Shegog is thankful for God’s presence every step of the way. “God brought me out of my deepest, darkest place. I really see what God is doing in my life. My purpose is to speak life and to bring awareness,” she said. “If my kids weren’t (placed into foster care), I wouldn’t have found my joy of being a mentor for other people.”
As a mentor, she has lots to say to people who are going through experiences that she has already walked through. “You think that child services, or CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates), or the Department of Children and Family Services are against you; but they’re just holding up a red banner saying, ‘You need help.’ Use that red banner to go and seek help,” she stated passionately. “And don’t be ashamed if you have mental illness. You’re still a good person just like anybody else.”
And she has a special message for single mothers: “For the single mothers out there with one kid up to multiple kids like me, if I can do it with four kids, you can do it with one or two. God bless!”
And may God bless you, Arnisha, as you continue to pour your life and love into your family and into the lives of others. You are truly a blessing to many.
